QTAC opens tomorrow :)
Narrowed my courses down to 7.. Can only have 6 :/ well after going to QUT open day I found that I wanna focus more on mental health phycology Ahhh so much to choose from

Wooo!!!

Woke up this morning feeling amazing. My heavenly father loves me :) I always knew this though lol. I feel refreshed, happy, cold :P, In love, full of Hope and Joy for the rest of the term. I also feel light and free like I could float through the air. Thanks God your amazing :)
On a side note Im telling my testimony in chapel in two weeks nervous as but God told me to do it so here I go. I know he will bring me the right words and help me to be confident. Man God is so good. :)

The Mystery Kids Show...

For those of you that I have asked about the old kids show about a man who lived in the tree with the green slide that had a really big nose here he is.... I loved this show when I was little and have been trying to remember what it was for like a year and then a friend of mine found it for me :)

Not Forgotten

Man I am silly sometimes. Just talked to the best friend all is well. I should never have doubted him :)

Lying broken on the floor

Im broken again, why is it that as soon as everything looks good something incredibly awful happens and again I find myself broken laying on my bed staring at the wall wondering why that had to happen to me. I wonder if I will ever be completely ok. Im not sure how Im going to go today at school. I think if one more person hurts me thats it I'll run out of the school and out of everyones lives. Ill go find somewhere thats just mine, by myself may be the only way.

Nature's Acceptance



When water washes over you, fits with your body hugging it but not in a pressured or invasive way you could just float there forever. Breaking through the surface and feeling the water part to allow you to join it in full acceptance. I wish people could be accepting like that. I wish they cared enough to let you into their world and let you be apart of their groups. Why is it that nature can accept us even though we do horrible things to it like abusing it with our piles of litter, but humans reject someone just because they are a little different to their standards. Why is it that nature whole heartedly loves us continuing to grow and nurish us but humanity turns its back on each of its kind. In my eyes nature appears more forgiving, accepting and loving than humanity. And nature has no heart. That is saying something.

Coolest Story!

Ok so I needed the sheet music for a song for my music performance. I couldnt find it anywhere so i took a chance and searched for the e-mail for the band and got a band members e-mail. I e-mailed and told them what i needed for and that it would mean heaps blah blah blah... Well she replied with we never actually wrote sheet music for it. The band member from a big band, like people actually know of them and listen to there stuff all around, e-mailed me back. She then said Ill send it to the rest of the band and see if they have any thing to help you. WOW!! I then get an e-mail from another band member saying she will write out the sheet music for me and e-mail it to me in the next few days! How flipping awesome is that!!!!!!!!!

It happened again. This is the last straw. Never again will I enter that house. Sorry babe I can't take the way she treated me. NEVER AGAIN!

Mind of a child

I miss the days of being a little girl. Back then life was so simple. Everything was so beautiful. Every day a new wonder, every piece of nature so amazing and with holding so many questions.

As we move up in life we learn so things dont hold the wonder they used to. We know how a butterfly flies but when we see it we no longer watch in awe. We take so much for granted. Instead of being thankful everyday for the world we live in we mess it up filling it with drugs, alchol, unpure sex, lies, greed.. need I list more?

We need to learn that life is a gift and so is every aspect of this world. We need to thank God everyday for the amazing creation He made jusyt for us. To this day when I really think about things like how butterflies fly or how flowers go I am in awe. I like the fact that at times I still have the mind of a child. I never want to loose that no matter how old I am.

 

Blogger at school works properly now :)

Well the term started yesterday and get this. I have already 2 assignments I know of for music. I have to work out my QTAC preferences before the 1st of August. Those preferences could potentially change my life. and I have 2 performances, one for music and one for drama. Not to mention just the knowledge of QCS coming is a weight on the whole grade Term 3, oh how you are going to be tough on me.

On the plus side over the last month I have discovered my callings. They have nothing to do with eachother but there is a dual degree for both. Coincidence..... I think not. That is God's work right there ladies and gentlemen. Oh and not to mention the degree is at the uni I wanted to attend.

School feels kinda empty without Fiddler though :/ Nothing to be distracting from work anymore. I guess in term 3 its a good thing though.

Well off I go to Bib

Peace out Bloggerites

Pause

Well term 3 has reared its ugly head -.-

First day back and I have knowledge of 2 assignmnets, got a talk about uni and had to study tonight. When year 12 is over I will be so happy. Get to move on with life and start going somewhere.
I feel like im on pause. Just as Im breaking through into life everything seems to have paused and is sitting mid air hanging until someone presses play and im allowed to go somewhere with life again.

I have plans. Im getting engaged, going to uni, getting married, moving out. All of these things I must wait for. I have to complete what feels like pointless exercises to start doing what I want with life. I cant achieve my calling unless I can get out of school. I feel like I've been stuck here forever.

Oh well aparently this is the last real term of work. Then just 10 more weeks of pointless sitting around. I want to start doing things that matter in the world. I want to change lives. I cant while I'm stuck on pause.

There once was a girl who had been hurt. She was battered and bruised and left in pieces. The only thing that kept her going was God. God blessed her by sending her someone to love her. Someone that no matter how many times she got hurt and yelled at him and told him she couldn't do it because she was afraid of the world. Instead of leaving he simply sat there while she yelled and shut down and then held her close when she finally stopped and then broke down because she was tired of fighting to be happy. He simply said 'i love you' and held her close while God stitched up her wounds. That girl was ...

Time...

Time is such a strange thing.
We find ourselves wishing it would go slower or faster.
Faster, when doing something unbearable like a class at school
Slower, when doing something beautifullike laying in the arms of the one you love.
I have always found time a curious but scary thing.
I guess the key is to make your time worth it.

My list

Recently some people made lists of what they want in a partner so I thought I'd write one too.

- Chritian, this is the most important thing to me
- puts God first and makes God the head of the relationship
- Accept and loves my family, I have said to all serious relationships I've been in "my family an I are a package deal, you want me you get them."
- loves me for who I am and doesn't want me to hide who I am
- loves to worship God
- will take care of and protect me.
- thinks my opinion is important and wants to listen
- likes to talk :)
- isn't afraid to tell people he loves me
- is a romantic
- is honest
- Loves me even though I have some tough stuff he will have to deal with.
- likes to help people
- Loves me the same dressed up as when I'm in track pants with bad hair
- kisses me just cause he can
- Is passionate about God
- is passionate about things, his job, his family
- makes me laugh and smile
- musician
- Dances with me even if he thinks he can't
- Will have fun and do crazy things
- will try new things
- likes to watch movies and cuddle
- Is forgiving
- chases me when I try to run away
- believes in me especially when I don't
- taller than me
- fights for me
- let's me have me time and friend time still

The more I write of this list the more I realize thAt God has already sent me this person. He has blessed me with a man that is all these things and more. Dan James, I love you. You are my gift from God and when I was a little girl dreaming of a man that would be these things for me, I was dreaming of you <3

I miss ballet. When I dance I feel like i can express everything all at once but at the same time withold the secrets I want to. When I dance I am free to be who I am whether people like her or not. Dancing is the voice of my soul. The voice only God truly understands.

Far away This ship is taking me far away Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die

Block exams start tommorrow thank goodness need some time off :P Going camping with Dan and the good side on the holidays So EXCITED!

Girls morning out was great and all is good again :) thankyou God :)

Need to do assignment but I have no motivation ...

Sinking

I feel like I'm sinking. Everything is slowly getting to me and I'm not going to be able to float forever. Something is happening to things and I dont like it. I don't know what to do about it though. Everytime I think I'm going to be ok, I start to get dragged under. I'm afraid the water is going to close in over my head.